It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
