real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
