I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
