i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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