dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
