Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
