The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
