we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
