i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
