oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
