used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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