Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
