she was so not down for the gang bang
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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