Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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