Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
