You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize