Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
