i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
