he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Everything about him screamed your future.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize