First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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