Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
