i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
