i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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