Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
