i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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