He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
