it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
