So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
