when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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