Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
