Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
