You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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