I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
