He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
