you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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