i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
