he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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