You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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