Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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