Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
