I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
