Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
