yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
ttyl tear gas
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
