I hate all girls vehemently.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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