pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My feet surprised me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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