We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
