i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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