question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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