Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
