this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
