can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
