I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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