I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just pee around me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
