How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
