Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
