I just saw a hot homeless man
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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