It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
