what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
