PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
