I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize