in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
