So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize