Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
