I'm really into asian looking animals
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
