u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she woke up with a sticky ear
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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